Why stop with the Diesel, when you can also have Chuck Norris.
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
21. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Because the World Is Round » Chuck Norris — the facts
Update: If you like these, see Bad Vin Diesel Jokes
Update 2: The impetus for the word “destruction”, Chuck Norris himself, has responded
Update 3: Chuck is starring in a new Mountain Dew commercial.
Update 4: A trailer for The Legend of Chuck Norris is out. I don’t know the legitimacy of this one.
Update 5: New! Chuck Norris ‘Action Jeans’ - they won’t bind your legs on that next roundhouse kick.
Sounds like something Maddox said. PS. Stop using my name!!!!!!
the power of Christ cannot compel Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris took over the world in 3 days, but gave it back because he already owned the entire galaxy of Betelgeuse.
Chuck Norris does not get the sensation… The Peppermint Patty does.
Its cool for Chuck Norris to have red pubic hair.
If youv lost your virginity, chances are Chuck Norris has it. two best posts ever!!!!!!! You werd it!!
BTW you bitches got served tonight
I once was able to knock Chuck Norris Down. But it involved telling him that its impossible to do a headstand using no arms. Well, he actually did it, but i pushed him down that bitch got owned even though im handicapped today.…
i once shaved chuck norris’s beard while he was asleep. That day i went to the hospital due to severe razor burn
“Here’s a good one:
There are actually three sides of the Force: The Light side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.”
chuck norrises spurm is so strong it can inpregnate a man.
chuck norris once had biceps so big they pierced a whole in the pentagon… the goverment said it was a plane jack bauer jokes suck
after partying all night chuck norris doesnt throw up chuck throws down
Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his nuts cuz hair doesn’t grow on steal.
if chuck norris is late, time better slow the f**k down
chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad
when chuck norris does a push up he doesnt pull himself up, he pushes the world down
god didn’t create chuck norris, chuck norris created god
Chuck Norris once had a hard-on as he walked down the street. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. It has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a F*****G INDIAN!!!
God said “Let there be light” Chuck Norris said “say please”
Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass, he dares it to grow