Some of my most popular posts have been Bad Vin Diesel Jokes and Chuck Norris: The Facts. In fact, the Vin Diesel post drives about a third of my site’s traffic on most days. I knew the whole Chuck Norris Facts internet firestorm would eventually catch up to the man himself, and while he posted about it on his website awhile back, that cannot compare to the major world wide event that is Chuck Norris reading his own facts! (actually it’s not that great, Chuck may have a killer roundhouse, but he sure can’t read)
Update: Chuck is starring in a new Mountain Dew commercial.
Update: A trailer for The Legend of Chuck Norris is out. I don’t know the legitimacy of this one.
Update 2: New! Chuck Norris ‘Action Jeans’ - they won’t bind your legs on that next roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, “I believe… I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride.” Arnie says, “I believe… that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements.” God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, “I believe… you are sitting in my seat.”
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
chuck norris does not sleep he waits
Chuck norris sleeps with a night light, not because chuck norris is arfraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
i am frunk agaun and thunkn aboot start my own mricro brewery